BottleKeeper: The True Story.

On a warm but fateful summer day, we were sitting lazily on a beach with our Uncle Van. As Uncle Van’s beautifully full push-broom mustache was gently wavering in the sea breeze, we began complaining about the warm beer simmering in our ‘red solo cups’.

There are few things that can kill your mood on a relaxing, warm summer day, but the taste of warm beer is one of them. This is not one of those problems that you come across every day, but when it does, it’s just devastating.

As we pondered the depth of our predicament, a serious brainstorm began regarding potential solutions that would allow us to enjoy the cool refreshing taste of carbonated joy in a way that didn’t require us to slam the beer in 3 minutes or less…as much as you try, you just can’t slam them all.

It was at that very moment that a golden light flashed above Cousin Matt’s head as if Zeus himself had sent a bolt of lightening from the heavens above; “what if we could leave the beer in the bottle and put the bottle in something that would keep it cold, like one of those stainless steel water bottles?” and BAM!, BottleKeeper was born.

As illustrated, BottleKeeper has a 4 mm thick neoprene sleeve that lines the walls of a stainless steel container that just so happens to keep the contents substantially colder than a standard beer “koozie”. It’s science.

The result of this highly technic​al advance in scientific research is that your beer is kept colder, longer, and by the way, the BottleKeeper lid seals the inner bottle…yet another problem solved. Oh look, BottleKeeper also protects that beer from it’s other arch-enemy, gravity.

We would like you to join us and take the ever important step of acknowledging that you, too, do not enjoy broken bottles or warm beer (sorry England). We charge you, cold beer enthusiast, with the responsibility to help eliminate the warm beer and broken bottle epidemic by supporting BottleKeeper and sharing it with your friends. Don’t be selfish, it’s really a matter of safety.

Wait, there's more! BottleKeeper keeps beer cold and intact; at the pool, at the beach, in the park or the woods, on a boat, on a plane, on the moon (we're guessing here, we haven't been able to test this yet), on the sidewalk or at a baseball game, a football game, a softball game, a kickball game, a handball game, a whiffle ball game, a golf match, a tennis match, a badminton match, a wresting match, and even, although we don't suggest it, during a karate match.

Let's be straight, BottleKeeper keeps beer cold anywhere that you would like to enjoy the legal delight of cold suds. It's even FAA safe and allowed on all domestic and international flights (although they don't serve bottles on planes, except those tiny liquor bottles, so we're not real sure what to do here, but you can still take it on a plane if you want).

 

 

A Special Note; although we know you're a responsible adult, we're not condoning or recommending that you break the law by using BottleKeeper to drink a beer where you shouldn't. Just saying.

 

Yep, We're Cousins...

...so we've got that going for us, which is nice.

 

 

Adam

...tends to prefer the heavier IPA's and has found that if he runs in place while drinking them, he'll only gain 4 lbs per week. Not bad. Adam also likes spending some serious time at the beach, while enjoying the downtime and working diligently on his computer. His wife Katie thinks he has a problem. It's probably true.

 

 

 

Matt

...has been commonly known to drink ice cold Miller Light while eating a plain chicken sandwich with nothing else on it. Seriously, if a tomato ends up on that sandwich, bad things happen. Matt also enjoys sports and playing golf. One time, Matt decided to change his swing, played left handed, and cut 3 strokes off his round. Genius.

 

 

 

BottleKeeper

...although young, has developed quite an attitude. He's even been heard saying things like, "if you try to put that wine cooler inside me, I'm going to put it inside you" and "touch my burger and I'm going to punch you in your beer hole". He did subsequently punch that guy in his 'beer hole'. Let's just say that he's serious about cold beer and all activities that accompany cold beer. Other than that, we wouldn't twist his lid too much...